Gay teens in SC excluded from being protected by new Domestic Violence Prevention Program

This is just sick...Here’s part of since I can not comment intelligently on this, the link at the bottom is to the full article.

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — South Carolina lawmakers want to prevent violence in teen relationships but won't allow a new school program aimed at curbing such abuse to mention gay and lesbian partnerships.

State representatives voted overwhelmingly Thursday to bar any mention of homosexual relationships in the new program for middle and high school students. The move was pushed by lawmakers who said they don't want schools teaching about gay relationships and said they doubt those partnerships have high levels of abuse.

"I do not want the Department of Education or school districts teaching our children in grades six through 12 about same-sex relationships," said Rep. Greg Delleney, a Chester Republican who pushed to make the violence prevention program apply only to heterosexual relationships. "I'm sure it would develop into that."

The measure, which was swiftly condemned by gay rights advocates passed the GOP-dominated House 75-25 and should head to the Senate next week. It initially was intended to curb youth violence in a state that consistently ranks high in the number of women killed by men.

Steve Ralls, national spokesman for Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays, said he had not heard of another state with an anti-dating violence program that excluded same-sex relationships.

"We are astounded that there are those who would prioritize their own homophobia ahead of the safety of the young people of South Carolina," he said. "Lesbian and gay young people are often doubly vulnerable when they are in environments where they are disrespected and adults are sending clear messages that their well-being isn't as important."

Bill sponsor Rep. Joan Brady said excluding gay relationships is fine and declared that, "Traditional domestic violence occurs in...MORE Here --> The Associated Press: SC House nixes mention of gays in date-abuse bill

Domestic Violence Victim Put at Risk when Address Disclosed to Abuser

Reading this article really upset me, but I know all too well that something like this can happen at any time to any victim, and has happened in the past from different agencies and different ways.  This is why it is so important for victims to take a crucial role in their safety and that of the kids by learning of the different ways to protect their addresses.  28 states that I know of at this time has what’s called and Address Confidentiality Program (ACP).  With this program, a victim goes into a shelter, shows her need to protect her address from an abuser (court papers, restraining orders and the such), and puts in her application for the ACP program.  It doesn’t take long to be put on the program, and the address given by this program can be used on everything.  Drivers licenses, courts, at the doctors, schools, electric and phone bills, this way there is less chance of an address being found out by an abuser.  Some states don’t have this yet, if yours does not, write to your Senator about the need for this program, and see if it may be implemented at a later time.  Also, make sure anyone that has your address understands and knows that it must be confidential because of a DV Situation.  If you have a restraining order, show it!  No matter who you are giving your address to, protect that address.  Get a PO Box for your bills, and every day use.  Get the PO Box in another town away from where you live, somewhere you can check at least once a week without too much hassle, but not close enough to where you live or where you go and shop that an abuser could find you through it if the abuser gets a hold of that information.

These are a few things I can think of at this time, and I pray that this Survivor stays safe.  It is all too easy now for abusers to find addresses through a phone bill, electric bill, or a mistake that many more steps need to be taken by any victim to protect themselves.

Please read more about the ACP Program if you are a Victim or Survivor

State Address Confidentiality Programs (ACP)

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/investigators&id=6776389

By Sarah Wallace - Video Available

LONG ISLAND (WABC) -- A Suffolk County, Long Island mother of three is blaming child support services for giving her confidential address to her abusive ex-husband. How did it happen and could there be others?

County officials say yes, there could be others. They say there is a bureaucratic breakdown when cases are sent over to child support services from family court, because there's no mechanism to red flag domestic violence cases. Addresses may be disclosed to ex-spouses even when they're supposed to be kept confidential. Now, a major review is underway because of what was uncovered.
It is an Eyewitness News exclusive.
"They literally, they could have killed me," Rebecca Triana said. "I mean, I still don't know if he's going show up at my door."
Triana is outraged and terrified. Several months ago, she moved her three little girls into what she thought was a safe haven of a home on Long Island, an address she says she desperately tried to keep secret from her violent ex-husband.
"I moved to make sure that he could not find us and hurt me or the children," she said. "He has choked me to unconsciousness, he has ripped the pearls from my neck, he has punched me and kicked me."
Hoover Triana, who has pleaded not guilty, has a pending case in Suffolk County for misdemeanor assault against his ex-wife. Rebecca has obtained multiple orders of protection to keep him away from her work and home and, as a precaution, her address never appears on court and other state documents. It's listed as "confidential."
"I thought I would be safe here," she said. "For nine months, I remained confidential."
It was confidential until she received a copy of a child support notice issued by Suffolk County sent to Rebecca's ex-husband. Her address in plain sight.
Eyewitness News Reporter Sarah Wallace: "What did the supervisor in the child support services office say to you?"
Rebecca: "They just apologized and told me to go to a shelter."
Wallace: "They just said, 'I'm sorry?'"
Rebecca: "Yes, 'It's our mistake.'"
Wallace: "And how does this make you feel?"
Rebecca: "Very angry, actually, very angry. Because I didn't ask anybody for help, I did this myself. I went ahead and took the opportunity to move closer to my job, gave my children a new sense of security. When we first moved here, they were like, 'Daddy can't find us here, right?' And I promised them he couldn't and then they mailed it. It's been a lot."
"After everything we've been through, the people that are supposed to help us actually gave our confidential address out," she added. "And my question is, one, how does this kind of mistake happen? And two, how many other women has this happened to?"
The Suffolk County Department of Social Services said it could not discuss Rebecca Triana's specific case, but a spokesman acknowledged a systemic breakdown.
"Many times, the system used to transfer this information does not include information about domestic violence," Roland Hampson said.
Wallace: "So when you get something from the courts, there's nothing that flags you not to give the address to a potentially abusive spouse?"
Hampson: "Many times not."
Wallace: "That's a problem."
Hampson: "That's a problem and that's why we're discussing how to deal with this with the courts."
Wallace: "But there could be other cases like this?"
Hampson: "But this is the first time we've heard of a situation like this."
Hoover Triana has honored all of the orders of protection and told Eyewitness News he would never jeopardize any future relationship with his children.
Rebecca Triana is not taking any chances. She's installed an alarm system and applied for a pistol permit.
Wallace: "You think the state should re-locate you?"
Rebecca: "Absolutely, for my children's sake, I want to be re-located to another address in the same exact town so my children's lives are not disrupted."
Wallace: "And you think the state should pay?"
Rebecca: "I definitely think the state should pay. The state made the mistake and I think there should be a program instituted that this never happens to another woman again."
Suffolk officials say they are going to put in procedures to make sure this doesn't happen again and they are working with Mrs.Triana on her housing situation.
WEB PRODUCED BY: Daniela Royes

Newark Family Court Rally April 27th, to Save Two Young Girls

 

Hello Stop Family Violence NY and NJ!
There is an important event taking place at the Newark Family Court on Monday April 27 at noon that I hope you can attend.   Here are the details:
Urgent Crisis
  —two young daughters are in imminent danger of being taken from their protective mother and handed to their sexually abusive father, potentially within this month! 
Facts of this Case:
      — 6 out of 7 child abuse experts concluded these young girls were molested;
      –every objective child abuse expert found child sexual abuse
      –Guardian Ad Litum concluded child sexual abuse and sexual abuse/domestic violence of mother;
      –experts agree mother is good, loving and primary attachment figure to these young girls;
      –family court judge has methodically and strategically buried all of the evidence and declared no abuse or domestic violence
      –judge blames the mother, and is threatening to rip these children away from their mother and give custody to their father
      –three well known attorneys certified to the judge’s bias in this case

This woman is one of us, but also one of many other cases  where mothers trying to protect abused children are being discriminated against by family court judges because of bias, ignorance and corruption of power.
Your presence is urgently needed to save these girls and others. Bring attention to what is a continuation of abuse against battered mothers who try to protect themselves and their children in Essex County ’s family court!
     Date:  Monday, April 27th, 2009
     Time:  12:00 Noon
     Place: Essex County Family Courthouse
              212 Washington Street
              Newark , NJ  07102
Let them know we’re watching and we won’t be silent!
Contact mothersforlegaljustice@yahoo.com and actnow@stopfamilyviolence.org  to say you’ll be there
Free Parking is available at  Edison Parking on Bank Street just off of Halsey. Code word: “protest rally”. Please carpool to the max!
I hope you can join us for this important event!
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO OTHERS WHO MAY BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING!
Together, we can www.stopfamilyviolence.org
Irene Weiser

Join Rally in New Jersey on Monday, April 27th, to Save Two Young Girls from Rath of Family Court « RightsForMothers.com

The Power of One

There is a new campaign going on in North Carolina, sponsored by the NCCADV, and running through Oct. 1, 2009.

If you live in NC please read about the campaign here:  http://uaadvnorthcarolina.blogspot.com/2009/04/power-of-one.html

If you are not in NC but you know others who are feel free to pass on the link or its contents in whatever way you see fit.

Thank you!!

And yet, many still say Domestic Violence is a "Family Issue" and not a Societal issue?

I am OUTRAGED!!! Yesterday, I heard the news that a man went on a rampage at a nursing facility in Carthage, NC, killing 8 people including 7 residents and 1 nurse. When I heard that, I told my fiancee "I bet you he is an abuser." I wish I wasn't right, but I was... and sadly I wasn't surprised...

When is society going to truly understand that they can no longer claim Domestic Violence as just a "Family Issue" that should stay behind closed doors and not be talked about? When are they going to understand that abusers don't just hurt those that they love, but others as well? We hear about the extreme cases, such as this, but there are many others that don't touch the mainstream. In jails, there are many abusers that have done other crimes, and many in the jails grew up in abusive households. Abuse creates tendencies in many that can truly continue to harm society! So, when is society going to help do something about it?

Read More on the UAADV NC Blog, please, post your comments on how this makes you feel, your opinions, and share any information you may have that is relevant to this post!  Maybe you had an abuser that has done something similar, has done other crimes other then the Domestic Violence committed toward you.  Please, help us make Society aware that this IS a Societal Issue NOT a Family Issue!

Violence in teen relationships - increase due to apathetic acceptance?

 

...under twenty-five, both are financially set, yet a pattern of violent behavior has been documented by both friends and co-workers of the two celebrities. 

Relationship violence and sexual assault in this age group cuts across all genders, sexual orientation, and racial backgrounds. It is an accepted part of any teen couple's relationship and that is as disturbing as it is sad. The idea that a couple expects some type of abuse in their relationship is frightening. Where did this "it's okay" (...more)

Weathering A Violent Storm

 

SEBRING On Tuesday, nine of the 15 beds at Sebring's Peace River Center - a refuge for victims of domestic violence - were filled.

Joy Kruppa, director of victim services, said their numbers can vary, with one day being at over-capacity and another, they're under capacity.

In tough economic times like these, victims of domestic violence will often remain at the site of the attack rather than seek a safe place like Peace River, according to Kruppa.

"People will stay where they're at (more...)

Commentary: Rihanna is not alone - CNN.com

 

(CNN) -- For two days, news reports called her "the 20-year old victim" allegedly attacked by R&B singer and dancer Chris Brown in his car early February 8 in Los Angeles, California.

We all now have good reason to believe that the alleged victim was pop singer Rihanna, Brown's girlfriend.

The story has dominated the general media with good reason. Both singers are young, apple-cheek gorgeous, immensely talented and squeaky clean -- the last couple you'd imagine as domestic violence headliners.

Perhaps the only good that will come from the Rihanna/Brown publicity is destruction of our culture's misconception that abusers and their victims can only be universally (more...)

Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week - Feb 2 - 6, 2009

February 2 - 6 is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and
Prevention Week for 2009. In 2006, Congress passed legislation that
the first week in February would be designated to focus on this
important issue facing our teens. Less than one week after its first
observance, Jennifer Ann Crecente - a high school honors student, was
murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Jennifer Ann’s group is dedicated to her memory.

For ideas on what you can do to promote awareness please visit their
website:
http://jenniferann.org/national-teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention-week.htm

Thank you for your interest and support of efforts to STOP Teen
Dating Violence!

"Jennifer Ann's Group" - Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week - Feb 2 - 6, 2009

Third DV Charge in Four Months

How does it get to this? I understand that there has to be a hearing, but what was put into place after the first time to protect others (since it doesn't come right out and SAY this is against the same woman)? What about the second time in the same month? Here is says he was charged for this third incident...is he finally behind bars until something can be determined? I surely hope so, because in this case I don't see where he can plead not guilty....well I guess he could, but if he didn't do any of it (either time) then I guess he just has some bad lick in being blamed for violence.... Why can't something be done to protect others from these monsters?

"A Wadena man faces his third domestic violence case since September after an altercation at a Wadena apartment Dec. 27.
Ronald Blair, 49, is accused of punching a woman in the face and pushing her to the ground because she was “disrespecting” him, according to Wadena County court documents. The woman wielded a knife to protect herself in the fight.
The victim called 911 but Blair allegedly took the phone from her and broke it in half. When police arrived to investigate, Blair blamed the alleged victim for the incident, saying, “That b---- is all cracked out again!”
RELATED CONTENT
Blair was charged Dec. 30 with felony domestic assault, interfering with a 911 call and fourth-degree criminal damage to property.
Court records indicate he has two previous domestic violence related charges from Sept. 17 and Sept. 30, 2008.
His first court hearing was set for Jan. 6."

Original Article: Domestic violence charge is man’s third in four months | Wadena Pioneer Journal | Wadena, Minnesota

Marked Women (Baltimore City Paper)

This is a very long article but it is well worth the read! There is alot of good information here for someone who is experiencing abuse, or for someone that has a friend experiencing abuse. This article is also good for those that have recently gotten out of a Domestic Violence situation and are thinking they can't make it or contemplating going back. Going back is never a good idea and you can make! You are not alone and this article will show you that. Please pass this on to anyone you think would benefit from reading it.

"'My mom was killed by my dad so we moved,' Takia* says when asked what brought her to Baltimore. Sitting in the kitchen in the House of Ruth's shelter for battered woman, the pretty 28-year-old with a soft, open face is matter of fact, saying it the way others might say their dad got a..."

Read the full article here: Baltimore City Paper - News+Features: Marked Women

UPDATE: Louisville woman found dead

Ok, so if the police were called to the house four times in a year...hhhmmm...not enough evidence for the restraining order...hhhmmm...I still say her blood is all over that judges hands now.  Maybe next time he will think and this will make others think also!!  And, yes I noticed that there were no arrests in the previous police calls...

LOUISVILLE, KY (WAVE) - WAVE 3 has uncovered disturbing new information in the murder of a Pleasure Ridge Park woman. On the same day 68-year old William "Gerry" Seidl was arraigned in his wife's murder, WAVE 3 obtained new court documents and courtroom video. Both show that a judge denied a domestic violence order for the victim even though she had been granted one by another judge in the past who felt her life was in danger. 

One day after a judge denied to grant Dorene Seidl a domestic violence order, Gerry Seidl picked up his guns from authorities. Three days after that, police say Seidl shot and killed his wife.  More.... http://www.wave3.com/Global/story.asp?S=8912275

At least now I do understand WHY it took the cops a few hours to get into the house.  Here's more of the updated info from another source......

06:12 PM EDT on Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Photos from the scene

Previous Story: SWAT stand-off ends with man charged with killing his wife

Related Story: Domestic violence in spotlight after standoff, man charged with killing wife

(WHAS11) - New details are starting to trickle in about the estranged couple that neighbors called friendly and every day folks.

But police reports indicate something different.

WHAS11’s  look at police runs to their home reflects a couple that despite outward appearances---there was conflict.

That conflict came to a deadly conclusion Monday.

A wife of many years---69-year-old Dorene Seidl—found shot to death inside her home and her husband, 68-year-old William Seidlis charged with murder after holding off police for four hours before surrendering.

The SWAT TEAM feared she was dead as the call went out for them to roll.

The next challenge says SWAT was trying to keep the man from ending his own life.  They brought in their hostage negotiating team, which actually entered the house to talk.

In the neighborhood it all seemed so bizarre.  To many this couple seemed made for each other.

But WHAS11’s review of police runs shows that between October of last year and August 7^th of this year, there were a total of four police runs to the Grandfield Way address. No arrests were made on those runs.

Link to original article:  Police reports reveal trouble in marriage before man allegedly kills wife, neighbors stunned | TOP STORIES | WHAS11.com | News for Louisville, Kentucky

Louisville Woman Found Dead

Where in the world do they find these judges?!?!?  Would it have killed him to grant the damn order??  No but his refusal to do so killed her!  It is a piece of paper, and we all know that a piece of paper does not stop bullets but come on...was he trying to save money by saving ink and paper?  Oh, no sorry he said there wasn't enough evidence...well hopefully he isn't involved with trying the man that killed her...the dead body may not be enough evidence for him to prove a murder was committed!

There really does need to be more checks on judges.  I like the law that was recently passed in CA that the judge has to give a reason for denying a temporary restraining order.  I was very happy to read that, and blind, sheltered me thought WOW, way to go, we are finally getting somewhere!!  Well, I guess I was wrong...this judge DID give the reason he denied her restraining order...in sufficient evidence. 

There have been several cases where this has happened this year that I have seen, I am sure it has happened before and I am also sure that I have not seen all of them.  Something needs to be done to make these judges accountable for their actions.  Can't they charge him as an accomplish to murder or something??  I know that sounds crazy, and yes I am a bit worked up over this.

And...WHY did it take HOURS for the police to get into the house when they were called out there by someone reporting shooting??  HHHMMM....I'm just speechless with that one.

Read the story that I am ranting about...LEX18 - Lexington, KY - News, Weather, Sports - Louisville Woman Found Dead ...please leave me your thoughts and feelings on this!  I am interested in knowing how others feel about this.

Share this post :

UPDATE: And, we expect them to watch our shores...Coast Guard Domestic Violence Cover-up? Or not?

I apologize for not getting this update on this story up sooner, I have been out of town and away from internet. But, now I am back!! I will be updating a few things over the next week.
Below is the video from NECN that provides an overview of the situation and where things stand at this point. I will include the link to the video page which has the written story under it.






http://www.necn.com/Boston/New-England/After-years-of-threats-mother-seeks-justice/1216864492.html

UPDATE: Husband Charged With Murder After Burned Remains of Missing Army Nurse Found

 The burned body of Army 2nd Lt. Holley Wimunc, 24, was found late Sunday in the Sneads Ferry area by police as they were investigating a brush fire there. She had been missing since Thursday after a fire was set at her Fayetteville apartment.

More on this story at:

FOXNews.com - Husband Charged With Murder After Burned Remains of Missing Army Nurse Found - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3200960/

Statement from John Wimunc's parents-- This statement was posted to WRAL on July 12th, the day before her body was found...wondering now that their son is facing charges if they would like to rethink their adamant statement that he is so innocent.

 

del.icio.us Tags: arson,awareness,domestic-violence,dv,fayetteville,ft.-Bragg,missing-person,victims

Landmark ruling used to challenge gun case

...one of the first to use the ruling to challenge the constitutionality of a federal statute that makes it a felony for a person under a protective order to buy and possess a firearm, said Lee C. Kindlon, his attorney....

Landmark ruling used to challenge gun case -- Page 1 -- Times Union - Albany NY

 

del.icio.us Tags: abuse-cases,domestic-violence,domestic-violence-law,dv-law,dv,victims,victim,violence

Judge's ruling on restraining orders draws concern -- Newsday.com

 State Superior Court Judge Francis B. Schultz found that some elements of the 17-year-old law are unconstitutional. Among them: a low threshold of evidence _ just a "preponderance" _ to get a restraining order violates due process protections. Instead, judges need "clear and convincing" evidence to issue a restraining order, Schultz said....Judge's ruling on restraining orders draws concern -- Newsday.com

 

del.icio.us Tags: abuse,awareness,dating-violence,domestic-violence,dv,dv-law,Judge-Francis-Schultz,new-jersey,state-superior-court,nj,violence,victims,prevention

Behind The Blue WAll: [FL] Police Chief Adderly is a domestic violence victim - of attempted murder or nothing major?

Ok, everyone seems so eager to believe that she was abusing him and decided to just get up on night in the middle of the night and starting shooting at him while he was asleep?? HUH?? Well, we could go with his explanation that she has "medical issues that require continual treatment." Then there is another side that I can not see that anyone has brought up yet...what if he is the abusive one and because of his job she is too scared to admit that. Ya know...if she goes to jail for this at least she is away from the abuse, may be her thought in the matter and she would still be alive....but hey, what do I know, I was just playing a little game of WHAT IF...

"The only way that was not an attempt to murder him would be if Mrs. Adderley were a CIA-trained marksman and was able to comfortably discharge the weapon knowing it would only land inches from his body."

...the chief is reinforcing the idea that victims should reconcile with abusers. "This is what the movement has been fighting for decades: self-blaming," Horne said. "That is the typical domestic violence victim behavior"...

Behind The Blue WAll: [FL] Police Chief Adderly is a domestic violence victim - of attempted murder or nothing major?

Remembering Jana Mackey

July 10, 2008

Jana Mackey, Kansas NOW activist, was found dead in the home of her ex-boyfriend in Lawrence, Kan. on July 3. She was a former Kansas NOW lobbyist and co-president of the Lawrence chapter of KS NOW. She was attending KU Law school, and was working as a volunteer advocate at the GaDuGi Safe House helping victims of sexual assault. It appears she was the ultimate victim of a sad and senseless crime. "She was a remarkable young woman and a devoted advocate of women's rights. She will be greatly missed," said Gina Austin-Fresh, National NOW Board member.

"Jana was a daily inspiration. She worked so hard to ensure the women of Kansas would know a better future. We have truly lost a champion. The world is truly dimmer without her." said Marla Patrick the State Coordinator of KS NOW.

≈

Any NOW member who would like to reach out to Jana Mackey's family can write to:

Email: coordinator@ksnow.org
Postal:
Christi Brungardt family
c/o KS NOW
Box 286
Lindsborg, KS 67456

NOW Home | Send to a Friend | Unsubscribe / Edit Profile

U.S. Mom in Dutch Haven Told Face Trial, Cede Kids

U.S. Mom in Dutch Haven Told Face Trial, Cede Kids
Run Date: 07/07/08
By Alison Bowen WeNews correspondent
A U.S. woman granted asylum in the Netherlands because she couldn't be protected from domestic violence is suddenly in the spotlight after quietly living underground. She faces charges in Minnesota and fears she will lose custody of her son.
(WOMENSENEWS)--After living quietly for 10 years in the Netherlands as an American granted asylum, Holly Ann Collins is suddenly making headlines in Dutch newspapers and a criminal case growing out of a bitter custody battle refuses to go away. Collins became a focus of Dutch media attention as a U.S. "refugee" from domestic violence after a neighbor informed the FBI that she was living in Leiden, a town 12 miles from Amsterdam. That tipped off her location to authorities in Minnesota, where parental kidnapping charges against her are still pending from 1994, when she grabbed her three children and fled. She may be the first American to receive amnesty in the Netherlands; no other case has been documented, according to Dutch newspapers. She was granted asylum in 1997 after she lived for three years in four different camps with Bosnian and Somali war refugees. Her plight has captivated the international domestic violence community, with advocates, court observers and lawyers sharing the story in long chains of e-mail forwards and word of mouth. Speaking softly into the phone from her home, Collins said the Dutch judge let her and her children stay in the Netherlands for humanitarian reasons after deciding their safety couldn't be guaranteed if she returned to the United States. "Then we were placed in a house, the kids were allowed to go to school and a normal life began," she told Women's eNews. After avoiding the spotlight for more than a decade, she now faces a Minnesota prosecutor pressing ahead with the case against her, even though the Dutch amnesty protects her from deportation and arrest. If she returns to the United States for trial, as a condition of bail Collins must agree to end all communication with her children, including her oldest who are now in their 20s. She fears that her youngest, Christopher, 13, could be placed into his father's custody. The older ones would like to return to Massachusetts, a place they consider home. Federal Charges Dropped Collins' attorney, Alan Rosenfeld, who practices in Louisville, Colo., and has decades of experience defending battered women, picked up the case in March. The family was informed in May that federal kidnapping charges were dropped--although she still faces a federal charge of flight to avoid prosecution--but the state charges still stand. Rosenfeld says although Collins' asylum status makes her case unique, he doubts it will set a precedent for other domestic violence victims. Other than her status, it is tragically similar to the hundreds of abuse cases he has seen. "We as Americans I think are good people and want to believe that our family courts do a good job of protecting children," Rosenfeld said, "and so we close our eyes real tight in order to keep on believing that." Married at 17, Collins says her husband sent her to the hospital three times, bruised and bloody, within the first month of their wedding. When she was five months pregnant with each child, she says her husband, who told her he didn't like fat women, beat her more severely. A third pregnancy ended after another blow. "That was just the way life was," said Collins, who saw no use in leaving. She says the violence was well documented in court by doctors that treated her and her children. By the time her next child, Christopher, was born, her husband had filed for divorce, and launched a custody battle. At first she received custody and he was granted visitation rights. Collins returned to him several times thinking the children were safer if she were around. "I really believed that I shouldn't have left," she said. Pressured by Authorities When state child protection officials threatened to charge her with failure to protect her children if she stayed with her abusive husband, she left permanently, received full custody but began to refuse to send the kids on visits to their father after they returned home with bruises. She was then accused of parental alienation syndrome, a consistently discredited psychological theory where one parent is charged with trying to demonize the other parent. Although the judge acknowledged that Collins and the children were abused, he ruled that her husband's physical abuse was easier to monitor than Collins' emotional damage, she said. "I'm not a likeable person," Collins said quietly. "I'm whiny and I cry easily, and he's smiley and happy and pats everyone on the back, and he's everyone's friend when you meet him." In the end, she lost custody of the two older children, who lived with their father for a year and a half. She was allowed supervised visits, and the children wrote her notes, leaving them in books, the bathroom and the refrigerator. "Help me," they said, informing her when they would be home alone. Eventually, she called from a pay phone and told them to meet her at a video store. They drove for an entire day. Collins cut their hair, died it black and slathered them with bronzing skin lotion. They drove for weeks around the country. They got on a flight to New Zealand. Collins had read about the 1980s case of Elizabeth Morgan, a woman who accused her husband of sexually abusing their daughter and allowed her parents to take her to New Zealand, where they were allowed to stay. They didn't make it there and were apprehended during a layover in the Netherlands. While in jail with her children she appealed for asylum. "I just started rattling off everything I've seen in movies," she said, and showed authorities a bag filled with court and medical records. A More Settled Life Following the amnesty, she met and established a new family with a Dutch man. Until six months ago, Collins thought she was the only woman to experience abuse and lose her children. Women started writing to her with their stories, she says, and "then I started feeling a little bit more empowered." After Collins permitted her daughter Jennifer to read the court documents, Jennifer became "disgusted," as she wrote in one of more than 700 e-mails she has sent since November to politicians, advocates and anyone who might help her family. "I just wanted someone to listen," she said. "I wanted something to happen." But the Minnesota charges remain a concern. Hennepin County prosecuting attorney Elizabeth Cutter said an active warrant is out for Collins' arrest and plans to prosecute if she steps on U.S. soil. Rosenfeld, Collins' lawyer, said talks with the prosecutor stalled after she made a condition of bail that Collins have no contact with her children when she returns to face trial.Cutter said this is a standard condition of bail, because she considers the children to be the crime's victims. He is not trying to persuade the authorities to drop charges, however. "Let's have all the evidence come out before fair people in Minneapolis," he said. "If they find her guilty then they punish her. If they find her not guilty, then leave her alone." Marna Anderson, executive director of Watch, a program in Minneapolis whose members have observed court hearings for 15 years, said in Hennepin County courts said many of the problems relating to abuse cases persist. "From what I've heard, it's gotten worse," she added. Alison Bowen is a New York City-based reporter covering the presidential campaign for Women's eNews. Her work also appears in the New York Daily News. Women's eNews welcomes your comments. E-mail us at editors@womensenews.org. Read More Safety Related Stories Report: Abused Women See Danger in Family Court http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3593 Custody Cases Put Under Supreme Legal Watch http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3525 Judges' Private Custody Meetings Raise Questions http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3454 For more information: Jennifer Collins' Blog, American Family Receives Asylum in Europe http://americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/ Note: Women's eNews is not responsible for the content of external Internet sites and the contents of Web pages we link to may change without notice.

Link to Original Article: U.S. Mom in Dutch Haven Told Face Trial, Cede Kids