Domestic Violence Survivor Claudine Dombrowski Speaks Openly

 

Domestic violence is on the rise in Shawnee County

http://www.ktka.com/news/2009/oct/20/domestic_violence_rise_shawnee_county/

Story by Jessica Drew (Contact)

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 02:59 P.M., OCTOBER 20, 2009

UPDATED 05:48 P.M., OCTOBER 20, 2009

Soldiers, family, community prevent domestic abuse

 

Oct 15, 2009

By Cheryl Harrison

 
Photo credit Cheryl Harrison
Pvt. Enedina Greer, 232nd Medical Battalion, solemnly holds her candle high during a candlelight vigil and silent witness presentation, all part of the Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention Month ceremony on Fort Sam Houston, Texas.

 

Related Links

• STAND TO! Army Domestic Abuse Prevention/Awareness Month
• National Domestic Violence Awareness Month Presidential Proclamation
• National Resource Center on Domestic Violence Web site

FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas -- In an effort to bring Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention Month to everyone's attention, the annual opening ceremony was held here, Oct. 1 at Army Community Services.
October is the month that each year as much information as possible is presented throughout the civilian and military communities to recognize the Domestic Violence Prevention program.
Michael Waldrop, deputy to the U.S. Army Garrison commander, Fort Sam Houston, opened the ceremony with remarks and the reading of the proclamation.
"The Army is now fully cognizant that the total well being of our Soldiers is totally dependent on the well being of our Soldier's families. The quality of life and maintenance of that quality of life is important to all of us and important to the Army in a broad perspective. To meet the mission we must preserve that quality and that includes domestic violence," said Waldrop.
Each year 3.5 million violations are committed against family members. The Army has its proportionate share of that. Domestic violence is not to be condoned. Do not turn a blind eye."
During the ceremony, stories of domestic abuse were read from the female and male perspective. Silhouettes were also on display with other stories of violence against family members.
In a more poignant testimony, Sarah Small, the guest speaker, told her story of seven years of abuse by her then husband, and prince charming, who also was a member of law enforcement. Her words were ones that would echo in the minds of the listeners.
"It couldn't happen to me," said Small of her life before the abuse began. But, she found it could happen to her, and it could happen to anyone.
Small, an advocate for domestic abuse awareness, spoke from the heart as she replayed the events that led to her writing her own obituary over five years ago. However, her words weren't needed and she is a survivor of a crowbar attack to her head and face, and loaded guns put to her head and in her mouth, stabbings, punching, slaps and even the killing of her dogs as means of threatening intimidation.
Small survived the seven years of brutal abuse and today uses her story to tell others of how domestic abuse can happen to anyone. "As an 'Army of one' we need to be aware of the unusual. Ask about the sunglasses if they aren't the norm for an individual, unusual bruises, sudden withdrawal, be aware," urged Small.
Following Small's unforgettable words of terror and escape from her abuser was a candlelight vigil, a silent witness presentation in honor of the victims of domestic abuse. Members of the audience held flickering 'candles' as the Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention ceremony came to a solemn conclusion.
Domestic Violence Awareness is something everyone needs take seriously. Survivors don't necessarily like to stand before a crowd and share their stories of abuse, but everyone needs to hear them. If they make the listeners squirm in their seats then the words have touched the heart.
From the words of the proclamation, "We need all Soldiers, civilians, family members and retirees at this installation to dedicate themselves to the prevention of domestic abuse. Everyone is called upon to be a part of the perfect combination for prevention."

Soldiers, family, community prevent domestic abuse

Real Men Don’t Campaign

 

Real Men Don't

by:  Gail Lakritz

Every October reminds us that domestic violence still exists With Domestic Violence Awareness Month in America.  Statistics show that it may be more prevalent than reported.  In the United Kingdom,  only 56.8% of incidents are reported by women.¹   This suggests that the United Nations reporting of 28% of women whose lives are effected by violence in this country may actually be in the area of 50%. 

In order to reduce that number, it is important to re-educate the public on the issue of violence against women in this country.  So far, the task has been limited to a few women's organizations that have had little or no effect on the problem.  Devoting money to educate women is an important act in preserving her life and the lives of her children, but it does not break the cycle.  The cycle begins with the abuser, not the victim. 

To this end, targeting the abuser by  making the abuser aware that they are the real problem, I suggest that all victims join in a campaign to enlighten the public and lawmakers.  I am suggesting that all victims begin by asking the national men's sports organizations to take up the mantle of an awareness campaign entitled "Real Men Don't".

Why the title "Real Men Don't"?  Real men do not need to feel superior to women.  They are secure in their lives and understand that violence is not needed to ensure their personal security.

Why sports organizations?  Simple, most men watch sports.  Abusers feed on the violence in sports.  A "Real Men" campaign would target the very audience that needs to be reached to end the violence. 

The following is an email that I sent this morning to the National Football League.   If every victim in America, which I personally estimate to be between  3,000,000 to 6,000,000 women per year, were to send this or a similar email to the NFL alone, they would see the prudency in  supporting such a campaign.  

I was wondering why the NFL and other male oriented sports organizations do not help in the  fight against violence predicted on women?  So many of your players have been involved in  these acts, why not go public and support women in ending the violence? 

I thank you in advance for understanding that you are a major player who could have a real  influence in the battle to end the violence.  Perhaps a campaign entitled "Real Men Don't" and a  devotion of commercial spots during your games would set you a cut above all the other sports  organizations.

I can see such a campaign as, not only a source of education to the problem, but as the impetus for the application of peer pressure.  With it, expanded campaigns could include "Real Policemen Don't", the education of the importance of writing accurate police reports and of  arresting perpetrators of violence against women.  "Real Lawyers Don't" for the education of lawyers and GALs in the area of Domestic Violence and not allowing plea deals.  "Real Judges Don't", an education for judges on the mental conditions that these people have and the importance of not protecting them.  "Real Lawmakers Don't", informing lawmakers of the importance of writing stricter laws on Domestic Violence.

Note from the author:  I, Gail Lakritz, grant permission for this article to be reproduced in any form of media that furthers the idea of the "Real Men Don't" campaign.

Domestic Violence Blog Carnival October 2009

Welcome to the October 2009 edition of Domestic Violence Blog Carnival.  This months edition covers Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Each of the articles below cover DVAM in a general sense while adding a personal touch with either history of the month or ideas for what you can do during the month to support awareness and prevention.

From this months blog carnival bloggers: 

Take Time to Observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month  written by Retha Fielding  and posted at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

She Will Be Loved...written by Lorraine Tipton and posted at Mama Liberty’s Weblog

Where is Your Purple Gonna Be?  written by Mary Morgan and posted at Tailored Life Coaching.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is October  written by and posted at Chaos Theory

The War On Women written by Gail Lakritz and posted at RightsForMothers

Domestic Violence or Just an Argument?  written by Ashley Waller and posted at Obstreperous Expressions

From the blog carnival Organizer:  October is DVAM submitted by Anonymiss

From this months blog carnival Host:  The Allstate Foundation and Tell a Gal P.A.L  submitted by UAADV News Blog

To find out more information about the Domestic Violence Blog Carnival, submit articles for upcoming editions, or find and read editions please go to the Domestic Violence Blog Carnival Page or email contactanonymiss@gmail.com the originator of this carnival.

Thank you to all the bloggers and readers that have supported us in hosting the October 2009 Domestic Violence Blog Carnival!

Call for artistic VOICES

We were asked to post the below in an effort to spread the word about this.  Please read and pass it on to all you think would be interested!  If you would like to participate in this please use the contact information contained in the website given below.

My name is Michelle Major.

I am a mother, a teacher, an artist.

I am also a survivor of domestic violence.

In August 2008, my husband tried to murder me in an act of domestic violence. Before beating me and strangling me to unconsciousness, he took a butcher knife and slashed ninety-four of my paintings. Through my artwork, I have moved from victim to survivor and I have turned my second chance at life into advocating for victims of domestic violence. I am spreading my story by sharing my butchered artwork through gallery showings and speaking engagements. I have turned this passion for shining a light onto the ugliness of domestic violence into an organization called BAVA: Be A Voice Arts to provide healing through artistic expression.

For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, BAVA is hosting an "Artist Trading Card" challenge. An ATC is a small card, about the size of a playing card on which people write , draw, paint, collage, use photographs and more. ATC's are a worldwide art form where people often have 'groups' , create 'themes', and then create miniature works of art to trade and collect. They are almost like modern day baseball cards to some folks! I have complete details on my website: http://www.beavoicearts.com/i-have-a-voice-atc-challenge  (***There is a 5.00 participation fee that will be waived if someone participates through a group home, therapy session, or some other type of organization designed to promote their healing). BAVA wants their voice, not their money!!

The theme is "I HAVE A VOICE!".

My creative vision for these ATC's is this:

I want to create a work of art where the cards hang on my wedding dress as an interactive gallery piece. The reason I am creating this wedding VOICE piece comes as an outcropping of a painting I did called "Til Death". 'Til Death' is a painting of me as a bride, tortured and hopeless, with 'X's" over the mouth to symbolize the secret and shame and inability to speak up during a relationship of abuse. After viewing that portrait, one would think that my wedding dress would be a symbol of the loss of hopes and dreams for a marriage and a future, yet in actuality, the dress will be transformed to symbolize the literal artistic VOICES that have come together as one to "Speak Up Against Domestic Violence". I want to hang all the submitted cards from the dress skirt and viewers can come up, turn the cards over in their hands, move around the piece and experience the "Voices!" I am hoping to generate enough response to fill up the skirt. I think it will be a very powerful piece and full of hope!

Help me fill the dress with YOUR artistic voice.  You may save a life!

Michelle

call for artistic VOICES.docx

The Allstate Foundation and Tell a Gal P.A.L

The Allstate Foundation is once again running Tell a Gal P.A.L and ClickToEmpower.org  The Allstate Foundation supports survivors through resources targeted to build financial independence and educates the public on how hard it is for people to leave an abusive relationship without economic resources.
SHARE YOUR STORY
Readers can share stories of overcoming domestic violence or helping a “gal pal” in need at ClickToEmpower.org. Readers who submit stories can enter to receive a limited edition Tell a Gal P.A.L. t-shirt as worn by Mira Sorvino on the Web site.  Share Your Story

DONATE A SUIT (Sep. 28-Oct. 9)
Domestic violence survivors often find themselves with limited means to get back into the workforce and attain financial security. The Allstate Foundation is encouraging Americans to drop off nearly new women’s business suits to benefit survivors from September 28 to October 9 at select Allstate locations across the country. Donated suits will be given to local domestic violence organizations and Dress for Success affiliates to outfit domestic violence survivors with confidence as they enter or re-enter the workforce.  Donation Site Search

Domestic Violence Awareness Month Blog Carnival

Hi All, we have been honored by Anonymiss to kick off their new domestic violence blog carnival by hosting the first edition of the carnival.

The first edition will be posted here on October 1st, 2009.  This edition will cover everything relating to Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM).  So, to kick of your DVAM activities, please make sure to come back and read the carnival on the 1st!

If you have an article about DVAM general information or activities that you would like to submit we are accepting submissions until the 30th of September 2009.  You can get more guidance or submit your article HERE, or you can email a permalink to your article with a brief description to UAADV.National@gmail.com

If you are wondering what a blog carnival is, you can go HERE, and read about it.  If you would like more specifics about the Domestic Violence Blog Carnival go HERE.  If you would like to submit an article visit the carnival main link and then click submit an article in the upper right corner.  If you are having difficulties you can contact the carnival organizer by either using the links provided or directly at contactanonymiss@gmail.com

Please share this post with anyone that you know that would either have an article for submission or those that may benefit from reading the DVAM edition post on the 1st.   

DV Survivor Speaks out

All women and teen girls need to watch this short news clip!  Please pass on to any female you know.  With Domestic Violence Awareness Month right around the corner this is the perfect time to share this story with all that you know. 
A North Idaho woman, Rose Turner, nearly killed in a shootout with her estranged husband, Rick Turner, is now speaking out to about her personal experience with domestic violence as a warning to others.

Where is your purple gonna be?

I usually dye my hair purple for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) which is October, and I choose purple because that is the awareness color of Domestic Violence (DV).  People always stop me in public and ask me why my hair is purple; cause I do NOT look the type you’d think would normally have purple hair.  When they ask, I get the chance to tell them!!  Others aren’t so pushy with it and just hang purple lights around their house or purple ribbons on their cars.

Each year around this time I try to write up something about DVAM being just around the corner.  I like to make people aware of this month to encourage them to get involved in activities in their local areas.  Now is the time to start looking into what activities the DV agencies are hosting during the month of October, so that you can plan and won’t miss the event you want to attend or help with.

I feel that as a society we should be ‘aware’ of domestic violence year round.  However, I also realize that by setting aside a certain month to view a certain issue gives us time to focus on and process the information we receive during that specific month.  I encourage everyone to become involved in community programs through out the year, which are focused on preventing DV.

If you are not already involved in your local community or surrounding area with helping in the areas of DV Awareness and/or prevention, or helping the victims of DV then the following may be some ways in which you can get involved.  This is a general list to give you ideas.  If you would like more specific options on how you can help, please contact your local DV Shelter or State Domestic Violence Coalition.

Here is the post that I posted last year and I feel it still works, so I’m giving it to ya again!

So... I get asked: "Great, you tell me to help DV victims during awareness month, but how am I supposed to do that when I have never even met a DV victim?"

There are many people that would be more than willing to do something during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, however they just aren't sure what to do, or where or when or how...

This list is copied from this ARTICLE.  

In your place of worship
1. Encourage information about domestic abuse in the congregation's programs, youth groups, marriage preparation, study groups, etc.
2. Establish a committee to promote awareness of the problem and how the congregation can help.
3. Organize a drive to collect food, toiletries, household goods and other needed items for a local domestic violence service.

In your workplace
4. Display posters or brochures (in break rooms, restrooms, or meeting rooms) to promote awareness of domestic abuse and how to get help.
5. Organize a Brown Bag lunch or other event for co-workers and invite a speaker to talk about solutions to the problem.
6. Ask what policies your employer has developed to keep employees safe from a domestic abuser who threatens the workplace.

In schools and daycare
7. Encourage the editor of the school newspaper to have a special issue about teen dating violence and partner abuse.
8. Write a paper about domestic violence to share with students.
9. Educate teachers and other staff about the connection between child abuse and partner abuse.

In civic organizations, clubs or neighborhoods
10. Invite a speaker to educate organization members about domestic violence.
11. Organize a fundraising event or food/toiletries drive to benefit a domestic violence service agency.
12. Publish information about domestic violence and available resources in the newsletter.
13. "Adopt" a family seeking independence from an abuser, to assist with practical needs.

As a Citizen
14. Ask your local library to stock books on domestic violence and to set up displays to educate the public about the issue.
15. Speak out against domestic abuse: Expressing your view that domestic violence is unacceptable has a powerful effect on changing the norms that support abuse.
16. Write letters to newspaper editors or send commentaries to TV and radio to help raise awareness about domestic violence.
17. Vote for public leaders who take a strong stand against domestic abuse.
18. Call 911 if you see or hear a crime of domestic abuse in progress. Write down license plate numbers, locations, and any other information that may be helpful to law enforcement.
19. Volunteer with a domestic violence service. Organizations need help with office activities, fund raising events, technical and professional services and assistance to clients.
20. Donate used clothing and household goods to a program that gives these vital items to families seeking independence from an abuser.
21. Participate in neighborhood crime watch programs.

Hang information flyers and/or awareness flyers in public restrooms, or anywhere else you think would they would be noticed. Now keep in mind that you don't have to stop doing some of this stuff after October!  By all means...continue your efforts throughout the year.

The more the merrier!

So in stating this, I implore all of you out there to stand up and do something for domestic violence victims not only in October, but throughout the year. Turn these victims into proud SURVIVORS!!! Give them some hope and some help. To borrow a phrase used quite often, give them a hand-up not a hand-out.

All of these are really general and will take some research, time and effort on your part.  But, the way I look at it is this...the time I take to do even one of these activities just may save someone's life.....so are a few minutes of your life worth the life of another?

What are YOU going to do for Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

So... I get asked: "Great, you tell me to help DV victims during awareness month, but how am I supposed to do that when I have never even met a DV victim?"

There are many people that would be more than willing to do something during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, however they just aren't sure what to do, or where or when or how...

This list is copied from this ARTICLE.  

In your place of worship
1. Encourage information about domestic abuse in the congregation's programs, youth groups, marriage preparation, study groups, etc.
2. Establish a committee to promote awareness of the problem and how the congregation can help.
3. Organize a drive to collect food, toiletries, household goods and other needed items for a local domestic violence service.

In your workplace
4. Display posters or brochures (in break rooms, restrooms, or meeting rooms) to promote awareness of domestic abuse and how to get help.
5. Organize a Brown Bag lunch or other event for co-workers and invite a speaker to talk about solutions to the problem.
6. Ask what policies your employer has developed to keep employees safe from a domestic abuser who threatens the workplace.

In schools and daycare
7. Encourage the editor of the school newspaper to have a special issue about teen dating violence and partner abuse.
8. Write a paper about domestic violence to share with students.
9. Educate teachers and other staff about the connection between child abuse and partner abuse.

In civic organizations, clubs or neighborhoods
10. Invite a speaker to educate organization members about domestic violence.
11. Organize a fundraising event or food/toiletries drive to benefit a domestic violence service agency.
12. Publish information about domestic violence and available resources in the newsletter.
13. "Adopt" a family seeking independence from an abuser, to assist with practical needs.

As a Citizen
14. Ask your local library to stock books on domestic violence and to set up displays to educate the public about the issue.
15. Speak out against domestic abuse: Expressing your view that domestic violence is unacceptable has a powerful effect on changing the norms that support abuse.
16. Write letters to newspaper editors or send commentaries to TV and radio to help raise awareness about domestic violence.
17. Vote for public leaders who take a strong stand against domestic abuse.
18. Call 911 if you see or hear a crime of domestic abuse in progress. Write down license plate numbers, locations, and any other information that may be helpful to law enforcement.
19. Volunteer with a domestic violence service. Organizations need help with office activities, fund raising events, technical and professional services and assistance to clients.
20. Donate used clothing and household goods to a program that gives these vital items to families seeking independence from an abuser.
21. Participate in neighborhood crime watch programs.

Hang information flyers and/or awareness flyers in public restrooms, or anywhere else you think would they would be noticed. Now keep in mind that you don't have to stop doing some of this stuff after October!  By all means...continue your efforts throughout the year.

The more the merrier!

So in stating this, I implore all of you out there to stand up and do something for domestic violence victims not only in October, but throughout the year. Turn these victims into proud SURVIVORS!!! Give them some hope and some help. To borrow a phrase used quite often, give them a hand-up not a hand-out.

All of these are really general and will take some research, time and effort on your part.  But, the way I look at it is this...the time I take to do even one of these activities just may save someone's life.....so are a few minutes of your life worth the life of another?