December 28, 2008

Holiday Blahs...

As a Survivor with Survivor issues, how can you combat the Holiday Blahs?  Here are a few things that Survivors have shared...

The Holiday Season for many of us Survivor was usually the hardest season to get through in many ways.  Although many of us looked forward to the Holidays, we didn't look forward to the extra stress that the Holidays can cause and the resulting stress that the abuser took out on us; the small things that we had to look out for increasing, the glass that we usually walked on around our abuser multiplying and becoming sharper.

Even still, when we are facing Holidays alone, without a spouse or someone to share it with, we can still feel the blahs...

For many this Holiday brings feelings of utter heartbreak and chaos.  You feel like part of you wants to cry and the other part of you wants to yell and scream.  For many this season it brings depression and the feeling that after all the abuse and destruction that your life has been through now you are totally alone.  There is no one that understands how you feel or what you are going through.  Many want to sit in their rooms and just shut down.  Instead, of being happy that you are out of the abuse and free, you feel more confined then you ever have.  People being happy just depresses you more as you feel like you have had all the happiness taken away from you, and that you will never feel happy again inside.  This makes you a combination of sad and angry, because more than anything you want to be happy.  You want to feel like they don't have a right to be happy when you are so miserable.  Trying to be around people who tell you Merry Christmas and Happy New Years just depresses you more.

Taking holiday groups in small batches is the best way to do it.  Take little doses of the holiday that way the emotional feelings will help bring you out of the blah feelings a little at a time.  But do not over do it and cause yourself more stress than you had to begin with.  Just remember or try to stay as positive as possible.  That is difficult we realize but if you're anything like us you really want to be happy, it is just really hard to believe there is such a thing as happiness anymore.

Hold your children tight, and if you don't have children, hold your friends and loved ones tight.  Try sharing Christmas with others that will be there to support you, and understand what it is that you are going through.  Give yourself a gift this season, even if it's a quiet bath with bubbles and candles.  Treat yourself like you know you should have been treated all along, and treat yourself to an abuse free Holiday Season.  For this year, as a Survivor, you ARE FREE to have the Holiday that you should have always had!

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