August 18, 2009

Violence UnSilenced

Do you feel like you are the only one in your situation?
Do you want to share your story (even anonymously)?
Are you a blogger that that writes/read domestic violence pieces?
If any of these apply to you then you should check out: Violence UnSilenced where you can read stories of survivors, share your own story, or take the pledge!

Violence UnSilenced

August 17, 2009

Violence, Abuse and Trauma Conference

The below is copied from: if the links to the info below aren’t working here please visit their website to obtain the information you are looking for!

14th International Conference on Violence, Abuse and Trauma
September 21- 26, 2009
Town and Country Resort & Convention Center
San Diego, CA

Town and Country Resort & Convention Center
500 Hotel Circle North
San Diego, CA 92108
T: 619-291-7131   F: 619-291-3584


IVAT Conferences
Institute on Violence, Abuse, and Trauma
10065 Old Grove Road San Diego, CA 92131
858-527-1860 ext. 4030 or

Save The Dates Flyer PDF
Conference Program Booklet PDF
Registration InformationPDF
Call for Submissions PDF
Call for Posters Online Submission
Schedule at a Glance PDF
Accommondation InformationPDF
Volunteer Opportunities PDF
Sponsorship Opportunities PDF
Collaborator Agreement PDF
Exhibitor/Advertisement Application PDF Volunteer Packet PDF

Preventing Abuse Conference

The 7th Preventing Abuse conference, Helping Protect Women, Children, Families and the Nation from Human Trafficking, Child Abduction, Pornography and Internet Predators, will be held September 11–13, 2009 at the Irvine Hilton in CA. (866) 454-1776. Noreen Gosch will be a speaker.

For more information about this conference please go here:

Conference Overview

1.  Geographic Focus

2.  Impact on America

3.  Examples of Areas Affected by Human Trafficking/Abduction of Women and Children.

      1. Health care costs

      2. Society and social values

      3. Economic costs and impact on

      4. Legal--resource drain, etc.

      5. Social services and more

      6. Victim, and Victim's Family

      7. National Security

    4.  The Demand:

    Areas to be addressed relating to the demand:

      1. Demographics of the customers and the perpetrators

      2. What is the fuel of the kidnap and trafficking problem?

      3. What role does the popular culture have?

      4. How the entertainment industry can assist?

      5. What role does pornography (hard-core and "soft-core") play?

      6. The role terrorism.

      7. The impact of the Internet.

    5.  Legislative

    6.  Law Enforcement

    7.  Child Abduction Prevention:

    8.  Rescue and Recovery

    9.  The Reality of the Problem: The Responsibility to Act.



    BARRY GOLDSTEIN, attorney, teacher, author and advocate for women abused by their partner (and too often the courts) has written a book for women seeking to leave their abusers and for their friends, family, supporters and advocates.  SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY Paths From Family Violence to Safety tells the story of ten women as they left their abusers seeking a better life.  The book shows in these abuse cases how courts handle legal issues such as orders of protection, custody, visitation, support, marital property and criminal prosecutions.  It tells about the resources available for women seeking to leave their abuser.  Click the links to learn more about the book, author or to view frequently asked questions (FAQs).  The book is published by Robert D. Reed Publishers and is available at book stores online and off. 

    Website with more info:  BARRY GOLDSTEIN, J.D. Author of SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY

    Poems by an abuse victim

    A client of the Mid Central Community Action, Inc., Countering Domestic Violence program wrote three poems at three different times about her experiences. She included this message:
    "I had always thought that I ws the type of person that would never enter into an abusive relationship. However, when I finally met someone who seemed to be the 'man of my dreams', I threw all caution aside and committed myself fully to this man.
    Things seemed perfect for a while, but after several months he began to show little regard for my feelings. Initially, his emotional abuse was so subtle that I didn't even recognize what he was doing to me. However, whey my self-esteem reached an all time low, I recognized that it was time to get out.
    That is when his abuse became physical. In addition to the physical blows, he began to terrorize me to the point that I truly believed that he was going to kill me. I finally decided to reach out for help.
    My advocate at the Countering Domestic Violence was invaluable in helping me to understand that I needed an Order of Protection. However, little did I realize that getting out of the relationship was just the beginning of my journey.
    Over the next few months, I became increasingly depressed. Even though I was utilizing the counseling services provided by the CDV and reading every book I could on domestic violence, I felt as if I would never heal from the emotional damage he had caused.
    This is when I wrote the victim poem. When I read it to my advocate with Victim Services, she reminded me that I was more than a victim, that I was also a survivor. It was her words to me that inspired the second poem a couple of weeks later.
    Thus began a turning point where I began to leave him behind and to work on getting myself better. The final poem was just recently written while I was preparing my story for this article and I realized that the two poems didn't tell the complete story. After many months of work, I finally feel that I have become well again. I believe that writing these poems has really helped me to assess and process the many emotions and issues I have had to deal with. I am certain that expressing this artistically is one of the catalysts that accelerated my healing.
    Yet, none of this was done alone. Not only did I receive the support one would expect from friends and family, but it has been the kindness and generosity of those people who work with domestic violence victims within our community that has given me strength to see this through abnd renewed my faith that there are many loving, deecent people in this world."

    Poem 1: 'What It Means To Be A Victim

    I am the beast
    Which you have lain upon the alter
    An offering to an angry God
    I am the one
    Chosen for purity's sake
    Whose throat will be slit
    As my blood spills out
    Ask yourself
    Have you come closer to God?
    Is God now happy?
    As my blood runs down the street
    Ask yourself
    Can we now find peace?
    Or must we come back to this alter?
    Again and again
    I am the one
    That sacrificial beast

    Poem 2: 'What It means To be A Survivor'

    I have outlived
    I have outlasted
    I have remained alive
    I am still here
    As the waters recede
    As the flames diminish
    As the tremors subside
    I am still here
    Above the fray
    Above all else
    To rise like a phoenix
    Above and beyond
    Beyond belief
    Beyond understanding
    Beyond a reasonable doubt
    Beyond your reach
    I am still here
    I have outlived
    I have outlasted
    I have remained alive

    Poem 3: 'What It Means To Heal'

    I'm back
    From that secret place
    Curled up
    No terrified
    Hidden in the dark
    Will I ever be safe?
    Don't breathe
    Not a sound
    Don't let him hear you
    Just the pounding of my heart
    Beat by beat
    The rhythm
    Brings forth a song
    Oh, I want to dance
    To sing
    To move
    These numb limbs of mine
    I stir
    I stretch
    I begin to move
    To sway
    To lift up my voice
    What beauty
    Is that really me?
    So unlike before
    So I dance
    I sing
    I love
    Back again
    Dedicated to Betsy
    Original:  Poems by local abuse victim